Since I’m going out of town, the drugs are coming with me. No way I’ll celebrate easter and not 4/20.

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Anonymous:  Like I really wana fuck you till you cry would you be ok with that?

Look man(or woman), if I were to cry, then that probably wouldn’t be a sign of pleasure. You’d be here to please me, not have bad sex with me. Bad sex makes me cry.

Anonymous:  Can I give you my dick???

Right, just make sure you wrap it in a small box so that it fits accordingly.

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I got all of the horrible side effects, except the death that I longed for.